(117)

I run the path of most resistance
the clean
the easy
the lucrative
don't interest me

I revel in the struggle
face smeared with dirt
and ambition
the slide of grime in my fingernails
centers me

I yearn to pull you with me
take your face in my hands
leave my mark
on your porcelain cheeks

(116)

there's always a catch

(115) free fall

teetering on the edge for years
always almost too close
breathing centers
the in and out of life
tides rise and fall
feet begin to slip
always barely find purchase
in the inevitable cycle
in and out
in and out
in and in and in
and silence
a choice
a step
the free fall
with nothing between
her feet
and infinity

(114)

she cries old-fashioned tears
tumbling toward the edge of the fissure
pushed by the pressure of repressed monsters

she follows the call
the sounds of desperate ringing
the whispers of violence
flashing behind closed eyes

she longs for everlasting synchronicity
the hydrostatic equilibrium that eludes her

(113)

the end is all I can see
where our words
battle
to be heard

now use them
to solve a miracle
to pull through the end
where blue stars bless
the emptiness

claim yourself
speak my name
our bodies
length to length

understand that
time regenerates with fire
there is no place to hide
from the clarity you fight

it burns tomorrow's desires
it burns tomorrow
it burns
i burn
i

(112) the perfect poison

the taste of you a supreme rush
when the fire calls and nothing passes
the most predictable story ever told
drawn to some wondrous breaking point
and when the shadows stretch to yesterday
and tomorrow
I'm not sorry
I can't be sorry
while we linger in the smudges
because we fashion the silence of everything

(111)

I was never clean
my upside down dependence
became a self without substance
but I understand the alignment I seek
and try to avoid the swelling blank brink
have fistfights to cure the night whispers
hope to be as I was made to be

(110) mirror stranger

I hear
when I shouldn't
(in a haze
stars
--so far--
align
visions dawn
epiphanies empty)

I can't see
(I'll loose myself
or maybe just
my sanity)
let me float
listen to your crying
(when I miss,
teach me--
pull me back)

something in me
believes
needs the starlight
of your eyes

(109)

I'll never stop running
push me out
in the darkness
without words
shut down for the night
flip the switch and forget

break the machine
with dying fantasies of infinity
the rush of silence
space
secretly breathing
in my ear

(108)

i never really cared
about where i came from
state pride and all that shit
where is really a matter of who
in any case

(107)

the smell of wet wool
won't let me go

the catching breath
the in and out
in and out

snow flurries melt
numb my scalp
and trickle
down
and down

a startlingly satisfying cut
hair flutters
the mutilation gratifies
and nothing hurts

the in and out
holds me together
won't let me go

don't let me go

(106)

and for the everything i want
there is also a nothing
a void-- a chasm into which
i must first venture
before i can take
what i believe i desire

if i can look into the abyss
and feel wonder
instead of fear
maybe then i will be free
to choose what i need